Overwhelmed. It’s a word I’ve used often since March 9th.
Miraculously (another word I’ve used countless times), it’s not being overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, or dread … not that those emotions don’t sneak in frequently. I have been overwhelmed by the love of God.
There has been such a response of support and love from people everywhere. Even strangers have found their way to Mike’s bedside, asking if they can pray. Others, whom we know, show up all over the place … fasting , praying, making us eat, writing in the “guest” book, making us laugh, sharing a tear, sharing an impact Mike has made, just waiting to meet any need if I ask.
I am so humbled. We don’t deserve this.
“But you would do this for them,” someone said to me when I tried to explain how I feel.
Honestly, and I’m being very honest here … I don’t know if I would. Maybe … for a few … at times. I hope I would … but I know I’ve missed many opportunities.
This … this outpouring … people are on alert everywhere … so concerned … so generous … it’s the receiving end of a firehose of love. It’s … it’s overwhelming.
I think of our every shortcoming of who Mike and I are … our inwardness the last few years as we’ve shifted gears in life … our energy focused on Mike’s return to school and a new career … my absorption with my job.
We’re busy, distracted, inward, self-focused … not deserving.
“And you’re right.. You don’t deserve this. That IS the point.”
If I’ve heard anything “audible” from God this week, it is that. His love is not deserved. That’s why I’m being so blown away with this … there are no conditions here … no strings attached … just raw, authentic kindness. I guess this is what you call supernatural love.
The conversations I’ve had with workers in the hospital, the prayers with strangers … these things came about not because I’m so strong, Because, really … I’m not …
It’s your doing. People like you, who are reading this, have shown my family so much love and kindness… piled up so thick that it spills everywhere and we can do nothing other than see everyone around us with eyes of love (even the “pirate” in the room next door, with the colorful – and LOUD – language).
You have been Jesus to us and His presence keeps spilling over.
Maybe this is what heaven on earth REALLY looks like.