Whew! Life is busy as we work on our move, and it’s hard to squeeze in time to write, but OH! The adventures we have to share.
“Aren’t you afraid?”
My grandmother started most of her sentences this way.
“Aren’t you afraid” … when I told I was getting my driver’s license.
“Aren’t you afraid” … when I said I was driving to Spokane on my own for the first time with that newly acquired license in my pocket.
“Aren’t you afraid” … when I showed her my application to the University of Washington.
“Aren’t you afraid” … when I showed her the acceptance letter.
“Aren’t you afraid” … the words echoed while she stood on the porch waving as my dad drove me to the Greyhound bus station.
And now, decades later I am coming back to tackle a new dream right across the street from where Grandma used to live.
Grandma has gone to her heavenly home long ago but her words have found their way to new voices in new vernacular.
“Wow. That (growing blueberries) is a huge undertaking. Yes, a really big undertaking.” Finished with a long, doubtful sigh.
“Do blueberries grow around here?” Another doubtful sigh.
“You ever grow anything before?” I’ve learned to simply smile rather than recite all of our growing adventure over the last four decades.
“Boy … you guys are brave to move like this at your age.” What?!!!? [Yes, someone from church said that to me. Good thing that the very next week I had to argue with someone to convince him that I am over (FAR over) 50.]
“You know, that moose that lives around here and her babies will gulp down new bushes like an appetizer,” I think I heard a smirk in that comment.
I’m learning to listen, yet not listen. Sometimes there is good advice in the questions … like learning how to amend the soil for our berries who like a little acid with their dirt.
But Mo hit the nail on the head when she said, “Do you think that it’s such a big undertaking for us or for someone who is in their 80’s trying to be us?”
Hmmm…
I think that was Grandma too … she tried to image doing what we were doing … truth was, she was the one afraid. Doesn’t mean I have to be.
The cool thing is that with every step we’ve taken in regards to reclaiming this land left neglected for several years, the skeptics are thawing … and we’re convinced that some are more excited than we are.
On Mother’s Day weekend, Mo drove over to help us figure out what to do next, and we could hardly pull a weed before neighbors showed up with riding lawnmowers, tools, and even started whacking down weeds with us. (One helper is the man who now lives in Grandma’s old house … isn’t that an interesting circle of events?!)
You can see the transformation that took place in less than four hours. We weren’t expecting to get this far for weeks and are still reeling in the bliss that comes from the kindness of others.
People may worry and wonder, but it seems like we’ve inspired them a bit and they’re signing up to be part of the adventure. Now we hear things, like, “When do you think you’ll get the berries in?” “I know someone who might lead you to the best varieties for this area.” “You know, I’ve got an idea for the moose problem …”
And then, there is what God seems to be saying. I came across some verses about building and planting right after we stated talking about growing blueberries. Even more striking to my heart is this challenge from the prophet Jeremiah (which just happened to be part of my devotional reading this week) …
This is what the Lord says:
“Stop at the crossroads and look around.
Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it.
Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls … “
I’m learning to let God’s voice be louder than other people’s fears. I have set my heart on Him.
Father, may my fears in following Your path not be terror, but AWE. My heart stays fixed on You and Your ways. Amen.
It’s an Ausmus life!
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This is what many people end up doing in midlife when they change careers or retire, they farm, they venture outdoors more, they live off the land! It’s a wonderful life!! Surge onward, my friend! I hope to come visit you in your new home. Mona Stucki
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Yes! Come visit … it is the perfect setting to catch up on the long years since we’ve seen each other!
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I love how you referred to this season as having layers. What a great perspective! Instead of getting bogged down in the distances and hours of traveling and circumstances with family changing, you are looking at the positives and calling it layers. Love that! Also, the verse you quoted is the key verse for the new Native American friendly church Taylor started called Sacred Path Fellowship. “… ask where the good way is and walk in it…”
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Thank you, Nancy. I love knowing about Taylor’s church and the verse that guides them. There is a lot of hope and freedom in that verse. I appreciate you encouraging comments!
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Couldn’t help but think of Joshua and Caleb. Everyone else didn’t think they could take the Promised Land.
Go get em! Those blueberries are just waiting for you.
God bless!
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Thanks for the very encouraging perspective. It’s nice to have others root for us, yet I am learning the value of knowing that only one Voice really matters. I appreciate your comments!
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“Aren’t you afraid ” was probably her way of asking you if you have calculated your risks, planned it well, ready for the hard work etc etc etc. I have sen a lot of older people doing that. They want to make sure that we have made the decision after looking into all the aspects of decision making and not jumping into conclusions.
Am glad you took your decision without getting pulled down by such voices that we keep hearing from within.
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This is a good way to look at my grandmother’s responses. You are right that many people speaking up around us in this season want us to think about the risks. However, in my grandmother’s case, she really was driven by crippling fears. She usually ended sentences with, “Aren’t you afraid … you’ll get hurt … be rejected … not get the job.” She was questioning whether we should take a risk at all. My grandmother was a warm and extremely witty person, but had been hurt early in life and responded by becoming a hermit. She quit driving when she got married and by her 50’s rarely left the house except under extreme circumstances. I don’t think she realized she was speaking her fears out loud to us, but she was truly unnerved by any kind of risk taking … to the point that it often made her physically ill.
I really like your perspective and am glad your shared your thoughts!
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I now understand where your grandmother was coming from. That must have been difficult.
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My life has been going at break neck speed of late, but I took a break from it this morning to read a bit. I loved reading this and seeing the way the community is beginning to take some degree of ownership (not the word I want, but it will do) of your adventure and helping it along. I’m also taken by the difference between you and your grandmother … with just one generation between you. Which if your parents was she the mother of? If she was your mom’s mother, she most have determined to break that mold for herself an her daughter … because you are far from that mold!
I see that I have some catching up to do. Going to make some coffee, bring up my laptop and catch up on your life! And we need to check our calendars for a time to get together before you disappear from here!
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Thank you Linda! I appreciate your observations. You make an interesting comparison between me and my grandmother. I will say that I have had to learn to be a risk taker, but in spite of her battles with fear, my grandmother did have her own degree of spunk, which I hope lives on in me but with more freedom than she had the chance to experience. I do hope we’ll get a chance to connect face to face before the big move.
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