Our new view from the Rehab floor at St. Joe's. I've reminded myself that there is a huge, glorious mountain behind those clouds.  I may not see it, but I can count on it being there.
Our new view from the Rehab floor at St. Joe’s. I sometimes have to remind myself that there is a huge, glorious mountain behind those clouds. I may not see it, but I’ve learned to count on it being there.

Am thinking this morning about a bride who is waiting for her big day. Unless this bride happens to be the modern-day, bride-zilla sort, there is rarely anything more beautiful.

There is just something about a bride … she’s so caught up in love for her beloved… so overflowing with his love … so full of anticipation for the future …  her love spills on everyone around her.

Since Mike’s collapse, I’ve become aware of the Bride of Christ as if I never knew Her before.  So much love has been extended to us.  Busy friends have dropped everything.  Strangers have stood by Mike’s bedside praying.  More strangers have handed gifts to friends and asked that they be given to us.  Old friends have contacted me, leaving me in tears at their timely words and generous help.  As I’ve written before, there’s nothing we’ve done that could have ever deserved this much love, this much sacrifice, this much kindness.

Christ’s Bride … humans joining other human … revolutionized by forgiveness … overhauled by Heaven’s love … motivated beyond self … what a beautiful being this Bride is.  I will marvel at our current encounter with Her for weeks to come.

I’ve hit some walls this week … mostly having to do with Mike’s school (Ughh! So unhelpful.) … sometimes overwhelmed by all the numerous pills he now takes (what happens if we mess up what and when he’s to take them?)… a little scared of the Life Vest (having watched him “shocked back to life” twice within a few moments is enough for me … don’t want to see it again).  The good news of last week is that the vest might come off much sooner that originally planned.  More answered prayer!

Some walls have had to do with seeing evidence of the tumor  … then there are the realizations that concerns I had for Mike prior to the collapse were real and serious.  At least they now have an explanation.

Mike has hit some walls too. He really wants to go home … and as a result has become a bit cantankerous. I laughed to receive a call that’s similar to that of the principal checking in with a parent.

I had gone to work in my classroom.  My phone rang … it was the director for Mike’s physical therapy program.  “We just want you to know, Mrs. Ausmus, that your husband keeps telling everyone that he is going home today.  You know that he is not, right?”  I know that … and Mike knows that.  He gave me that boyish grin when I asked him about it later.  He was hoping that if he told enough people he might convince someone to help him get home before everyone else figured it out.  That guy!

The walls are just giant pieces of reality  … they are bound to come … bound to hurt when bounced against.  Yet amazingly … EVERY SINGLE TIME I have hit one of those walls, the Bride has mysteriously shown up … a loving card with just the right verse … a phone call … someone stepping in and taking on a chore I hadn’t thought to ask help with … someone who will listen without scolding when the truth of how “not-strong” I really can be comes out.

All I can really say to God and to those who let Christ who live through them is “Thank You”.  My family and all those watching us in this are so blessed by you.

I am asked daily by people what they can do to help.  Can they bring food? Clean? Run errands?  We do need help but have been waiting, because the real crunch will come when Mike returns home.  It is likely that he will return sometime within the next two weeks although we are hoping for Easter Weekend.  I am on Spring Break following Easter, so will be home.  It is the following week, beginning April 13th, that things will be harder with me at school and Mike at home.  That would be a good week for meals and some help cleaning as well as a few people who would like to hang out with Mike during the day for a couple of hours here or there. Writing this, I realize that what I need most is someone who would like to be the contact person for organizing helpers for me.  Privately contact me if that interests you.

Wrapping up today’s thoughts, this is one of the timely pieces of encouragement sent to me by a dear member of the Bride.  I’ve listened over and over and hope it encourages you as well.